I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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