Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
