My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
