I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize