Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
