You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
pray to the hookup gods
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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