I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
