I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dicks are not precious.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
