Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
