Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
