Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
