so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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