I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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