youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Soap is not a condiment
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
