This girl is more easily done than said...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
