Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
