she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
