I feel like abortions should bother me more
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
