Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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