i can't believe i had my finger in that
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
