yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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