take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
