Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
