i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Moan for me like Helen Keller
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
