my vag is so smooth its legendary
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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