how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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