Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
