And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
