I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
