I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
