I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize