it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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