mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
