im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
