fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
