Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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