Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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