All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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