Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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