Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
