well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
