drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
its not stalking. its research.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
