That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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