There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
