I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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