remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
