someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
