so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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