yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
