wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
