there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
