I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
