I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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