Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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