I could have mohawked her pubes.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
