help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
