They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
