why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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