The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize