There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
