when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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