Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
