If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
