i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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