i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
