think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
