TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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