Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
