I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
