She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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