Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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