We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
