3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
