are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
